For those of you who don’t know, I have deep Lutheran roots. We are a funny lot.
Some of you have no idea what a Lutheran is.
Have a look at this very short VIDEO BY THE “BANGLES” and you’ll know everything you need to know :-).
Some Lutheran FAQ’s:
- Are Lutherans liturgical? Most are. Many are not.
- Do Lutherans agree on theology? Except for “Sola Fide” (Faith Alone), nope. And we argue about what that means.
- Are Lutherans like Catholics except in “black and white?” Often. Sleepy version of the mass without cool candles, statues and magic stuff.
- Who are the great Lutheran preachers? Next question!
- Do Lutherans have a sense of humor? Rarely, but it can happen.
- Are Lutherans liberals? Some are virtually Marxists. Most of them hang out in seminaries or become bishops.
- Are Lutherans conservatives? The black-shirt conservatives could scare all the peeps on Fox News. They don’t think you’re really saved, by the way. They KNOW I’m not :-).
- Where do they tend to live? Scandihoovia and parts of Germany. Pennsylvania. Upper Midwest USA. Wherever there is bad weather. But the cool ones live in Ethiopia. They do fire baptisms and stuff.
- Why do we see less and less of them? They reproduce like Panda bears and would rather die than share their faith.
- Who are some famous, high-profile, deeply committed Lutherans we would all know? ROTFL
David Housholder Essays 
7 comments
Comments feed for this article
February 28, 2011 at 8:01 am
Kati
LOL. Love it! Have you showed this video to MSP Lutherans or renewal crew yet? Sweet. 🙂
February 28, 2011 at 12:56 pm
robin
don’t even know what to say…the Bangles should sue! Anyway, agree with all of your points…by the way, I’m running into more of those “black shirts” on a regular basis…too bad they will go down with the ship…
February 28, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Cid
1) Good post, especially point number 8 – brrr.
2) I’m pretty close to a black-shirt arranging chairs on the deck of the Titanic, but I do think you are saved.
3) Keep up the good work!
March 1, 2011 at 6:16 am
Brian Gigee
David, I value your voice in this global ecclesiastical time… I’ll send you my re-do of Mick Jagger and the Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” in another post…
But, here’s my take on your FAQ’s list from an Ohio born Lutheran, born-again Texan remaining Lutheran with a D. Min from Minne-soda Luterland, who spent almost 10 years as a Lutheran Catholic in New Orleans who insists a new ‘reformation’ is taking place in our church that -pre-dates brother Martin’s grace-filled antics in the 1500’s… my addition following yours…
Some Lutheran FAQ’s:
1.Are Lutherans liturgical? Most are. Many are not.– WE ARE ALL LITURGICAL IF WE USE ‘THE DIDACHE’ AS OUR MODEL…SOME OF US JUST DON’T USE HYMNALS OR WEAR DRESSES EACH TIME WE WORSHIP
2.Do Lutherans agree on theology? Except for “Sola Fide” (Faith Alone), nope. And we argue about what that means. — WE ARGUE AMONGST OURSELVES NOW BECAUSE THE ECUMENICAL MOVEMENT WAS A SUCCESS EVEN THOUGH IT HAS SPAWNED THE NON-DENOM CHURCHES…
3.Are Lutherans like Catholics except in “black and white?” Often. Sleepy version of the mass without cool candles, statues and magic stuff. — OUR USE OF VISUAL SYMBOLS INT ADDITION TO THE VISIBLE MEANS OF GRACE WILL HELP US IN REACHING TO ANCIENT PRACTICES FOR A FUTURE PEOPLE OF FAITH…
4.Who are the great Lutheran preachers? Next question! — OK, POINT 4 U
5.Do Lutherans have a sense of humor? Rarely, but it can happen. –LOL AT THE RISK OF BING RIDICULED AND TARGETED AS A ‘SPIRITUALIST!’
6.Are Lutherans liberals? Some are virtually Marxists. Most of them hang out in seminaries or become bishops. IS IT ANY WONDER THEN THAT BISHOPS AND CLERGY SPEAK SUCH TONGUES THAT MOST CHURCH MEMBERS FIND IT HARD TO HANG IN THERE?
7.Are Lutherans conservatives? The black-shirt conservatives could scare all the peeps on Fox News. They don’t think you’re really saved, by the way. They KNOW I’m not . IN TIMES SUCH AS THIS… THOSE WHO REMAIN LIBERALLY CONSESRVATIVE SEEM TO STAY ENGAGED FOR THE SAKE OF THE WHOLE RATHER THAN THE VOICE SOLELY OF CERTAIN CAUSES OR ISSUES…
8.Where do they tend to live? Scandihoovia and parts of Germany. Pennsylvania. Upper Midwest USA. Wherever there is bad weather. But the cool ones live in Ethiopia. They do fire baptisms and stuff. MAANY LUTHERANS MOVED TO CALIFORNIA TO HIDE OUT FROM GRANDPARENTS IN THE 50’S AND 60’S. TEXAS SEEMS TO BE THE PLACE TO GO NOW…
9.Why do we see less and less of them? They reproduce like Panda bears and would rather die than share their faith. THIS IS ONLY TRUE EXCEPT IN AREAS WHERE EXISTING LUTHERANS ARE MORE INTERESTED IN HELPING OTHERS BE A DISCIPLE OF JESUS AND FOLLOW HIS WAY RATHER THAN BECOMING LUTHERAN…
10.Who are some famous, high-profile, deeply committed Lutherans we would all know? ROTFL WHAT ABOUT GORDON McRAY AND DUKE ELLINGTON?
Gigee
March 1, 2011 at 11:51 am
Dwaine
Re: item 4. Have you considered Garrison Keilor?
March 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Dave
Cute video, but the original tune was written by Prince, not The Bangles. AFAIK, Prince is not lutheran, but he is from Minnesota!
April 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Mrs. Hume
“Do Lutherans agree on theology?”
To paraphrase a 19th century theologian, if you don’t subscribe to the Book of Concord, you aren’t Lutheran. If you don’t subscribe to the Bible, you aren’t Christian.